Dusty shine

I stopped writing and I'm not proud of it...

I have been feeling fairly disconnected from everything surrounding me, but especially, from myself.

Blank...

What is it that I feel?

What is it that I want?

What is it that I'm willing to put up with and what's not?

What's fair anymore?

Changing moods, day by day, just like the seasons. Will this voice in my head ever stop and be gone at once? Or I guess I'll have to live with it, for all I know, it's there to protect me and help me see the unseen.

That's madness.

How can I tell apart the true scenario from the imaginary one? They are always clashing into one another and I am getting tired of it. I feel so drained these days.

My happy place... I don't even know what's my happy place anymore; haven't visited it in a long time. I need to escape before it escalates, for I will always put myself first.

My needs

My desires

My goals

My happiness

MYSELF.

I need to find my way back to myself. That's my current mission. There's no one who knows me better than myself and no one will ever will... or maybe?

I need to listen to my voice first and then the others. Whatever has been on my mind bugging me these days, I need to believe that it will work out in my favor in the end. It has to... it always does; the tears that I've shed, the pain that I've had, the self-doubting moments and all the questioning - they all served me a purpose. A purpose that I didn't see or refused to see in the moment, but later on, it became clear.

Always trust yourself. Trust your heart.