Love yourself more

If I say I have stopped thinking about you and wondering if you still think about me in turn, would be a big fat lie. I accepted reality by now, though brutally energy-consuming, however my heart is still crying for you.

I have constantly been longing for your affection and attention, hoping to receive the same amount I was offering to you, but to no avail apparently. It took me a while to learn that one shouldn't be shouting for affection and attention, as those are given freely by the person who genuinely cherishes you. I also stubbornly learnt that the people meant to stay in your life will unarguably do so, regardless of the circumstances.

That's why I decided to leave eventually and quit this nerve-wrecking puzzle, because you were not meant to be part of my life. So why bother? Why put emphasis on something that you know, feeling wise, it has a dead end? It will only lead to more suffering and you will end up losing yourself on a path with no destination.

That's when you slowly but steadily grow to realize that there will be other people crossing your path who will make up for the time spent with ''immaturely incapable of love'' people. I've been too easy on me and accepted too much when I should have stepped in and said no, just for my own sake. From now on, I won't allow anyone to stay in my heart, unless they truly deserve and show it, most importantly. I am ready to move on and take a chance on love again. As long as I can be myself around you and shed no tears while being you, I will know the answer myself.

The truth is that I still have you on my mind, but do I actually need someone like you to have brought me down several times without being able to make up for the things done, when it was promised to even? It hurts, but realistically speaking, I love myself more than this.

I won't be asking you to come back. Should you do that, you will purely do it with no strings attached. I was easily vulnerable expressing my true feelings towards you, but it was clearly too soon, especially since you did not accept those feelings.

I hope I am not making the wrong decision saying goodbye, but I know it is the best option left. And again, it is because I love myself too much to cope with any mistreat any longer!

Love yourself...