On my way to you

As days go by, in this restless ocean of solitude and stillness that we are faced with nowadays, some of us at least, I feel your presence closer and closer… yet, you are nowhere to be found.

If only I could jump ten years from this moment on, just to see you and meet you, I would determinedly do so; but then I wonder: will you be able to give me the genuine love that I very muchly desire and am in need of? ; will you be able to love me the way I am, with my most absurd things I often find myself complaining about and meticulous trivialities I often find myself getting lost into ; will you be able to put up with my mood carrousel whenever the weather is gloomy and depressing, which will be lifted up whenever the sun brightly appears on the sky ; or when I cry because of a random movie yet very touching to me, will you be there to hold me tightly in your arms ; but most importantly, will you be there for me, for us, to conquer this mad world together as two people madly in love with each other… will you, dear?

Now, as life brutally bumps into my imagination and opens my eyes to reality, I find myself being a prisoner of the past sometimes; again, in a restless quest for you. Is it possible that we have already met, yet our paths took different directions? Is it possible that we knew of each other’s existence, yet we showed little interest to one another? Is it possible perhaps that we both tried our best to stick together and yet, life happened and separated us involuntarily?

Oh, how I wish to own the answer to all these questions, but I simply cannot, because it is beyond my control. So much energy has been drained and a considerable amount of time has been lost into trying to come up with potential answers that would put my mind at rest, but how can I possibly think I am even entitled to compete with the Universe? No wonder that the saying goes: “ everything happens for a reason”; yes, I can mould my life the way I want based on the decisions that I make, but in some cases, I just don’t know what decisions to make anymore; I am constantly lost in this ocean of fugitive thoughts, which all lead to you actually.

Wherever you are and whenever our paths meet (again), I will be here…